“I’m failing, and I don’t know how to stop.” That was what my childhood best friend, Aanya, had confided in me one evening at our study group. It was an eye-opener. Aanya–the star student, community event leader, family pride–was disintegrating before my eyes.
Beneath the Perfect Facade
Growing up in a conservative South Asian family, Aanya was never off the radar of expectation. “You are the oldest,” her parents cautioned her. “You have to be the role model.” Expectations always hovered–of performing well academically, being well-behaved culturally, and having a squeaky-clean reputation – always.
She was drowning, she told me. “I cannot sleep. My mind will not turn off. I am afraid of disappointing all of them,” she wailed. But she could not reveal it to her family. “What if they discover that I am selfish?” She was so scared, and for the moment, I was powerless.
Building a Bridge
According to the World Health Organization, approximately 1 in 7 adolescents aged 10–19 experience mental health conditions, yet many go unrecognized and untreated due to stigma and lack of awareness–especially in culturally traditional communities. South Asian culture continues to avoid mental illness. To seek assistance is to acknowledge defeat. I understood this, and I was honest when I spoke. I told Aanya that what she felt was genuine and gave her examples of other people who had suffered through what she had suffered.
When I pushed her to tell the truth to her family, she wavered. Fear of misunderstanding loomed over her. We strategized together. She volunteered to talk to her mom first, framing it as asking for assistance rather than complaining about family pressure.
A Brave First Step
The talk wasn’t easy–there were interruptions, pauses, and sobbing. But her mother listened. Slowly, her family began to see mental health as more than weakness, but wellness. Aanya began seeing a counselor, shyly enough. The more she talked, the more she became open with her family.
It was lovely to watch Aanya return to herself. She began setting boundaries–a revolutionary move in our society. She still worked hard, but now she also learned how to take care of herself. She gets through her work using evening walks, writing, and even the occasional Netflix binge.
What she discovered made me reflect on how powerful conversation and vulnerability can be in dismantling deeply ingrained stigmas. By opening up and confronting fears, Aanya challenged traditions that held her back and inspired those around her.
A Way Forward
South Asian culture is steeped in hard work and collective responsibility, but Aanya’s journey shows that balance is attainable. Her story is a reminder that cultural expectations, while important, should not come at the cost of individual well-being. Change starts with small but meaningful steps, such as fostering openness, advocating for mental health, and encouraging a culture where seeking help is not seen as a sign of weakness.
To anyone feeling the weight of unmet expectations or the pressure to always succeed: know that you are not alone in your struggles. Aanya’s story is proof that even in the face of rigid norms, healing is possible. Let her journey remind you of this truth–there is always hope, and there is always someone willing to listen. You are enough.
World Health Organization. “Mental Health of Adolescents.” World Health Organization, 10 Oct. 2024, www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/adolescent-mental-health.
About the author
Hi, I’m Isabel Roy, a rising high school senior with a love for books, writing, and exploring new ideas. I’m passionate about mental health, cultural identity, and using storytelling to inspire change. Welcome to my little corner of the internet!
