Caught in the middle
It is crazy that I can be around so many people and still feel like no one understands me. When I think about my mental health, during the time of my internship at Rcoz, we have covered a few topics like code-switching, generation gap, etc. I feel like a couple of these really did stand out to me. Per American Psychological Association, 42% of high school students struggle with mental health disorders, that may not seem like a lot but it really is.
My parents were born in a different country and moved here in their twenties, so they are immigrants. I would say they are not too strict compared to others and definitely do understand where I come from, sometimes.
At home I have to be more respectful rather than having a lot of emotion. With my friends I make jokes and have fun. Until recently, I never had the words to describe how exhausting it can be to switch the way I really am so easily to the point where someone forgets the real you. I feel like I open up more to my mom rather than my dad.
Switching up when I have to
Code switching is changing the way you talk or behave around certain people. For example, around my parents I have to be respectful and emotionally reserved. Some people are even loud with their friends, but that still does not mean they talk about deeper things with them.
The generation gap feeling
I feel scared to open up. Sometimes the generation gap feels like a stop, where I cannot tell them things, because I think they will not understand. My parents grew up in an environment where mental health wasn’t considered a big deal. Since I struggle with it I feel like it reflects on how I perform in other activities and everyday life. These can definitely be invisible at times.
How I am improving
Overall, I feel better as I started therapy and know to not overreact with my parents and understand where they are coming from as well. Doing things like art, going on walks, and journaling can really help someone with their mental health. I want other teens in high school who may be going through something similar to know that they are not alone.
About the author:
Hasini Avuthu is a junior in high school. She is doing her internship for Rcoz this summer, this is a blog about her. During her free time she likes art, hanging out with friends, traveling, playing with her god, and watching the sunset. She is interested in the topic of mental health and psychology.
