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How do you deal with rejection after coming out to parent? Letting go of validation to find love.

John. A young boy living in Texas. Came out to his parents at a young age. His parents didn’t accept it and thought he was going through a phase, and this was something he would get over. He had hoped his parents would provide him with a safe haven, but it was quite the opposite. They didn’t support him and from that he learned that love from his parents was not unconditional. His parents didn’t love him because of this thing about him that is something that he can’t control or change. He felt this soul crushing feeling of rejection by his parents.

Fast forward to today. Now that marriage equality is the law of the land, it is much easier to accept and embrace him being gay. Being gay has normalized somewhat since his childhood. One thing that he has brought with him into adulthood is that love is not unconditional. He feels that love requires certain criteria be met. There are expectations to be met before you can receive or feel love. It took John a lot of therapy in order to shake the notion that love is not unconditional and that he is worthy of love.

Happy ending to this story is that John got married and both his side and his husband’s side of the families attended the nuptials with smiling faces and well wishes.

Though it is easier to accept people who are gay now, it hasn’t been eradicated. It’s stories like these that help people going through similar situations feel supported, get ideas, and find a safe haven and feeling of acceptance that help them not shy away from the thing that they don’t have control over.

#comingout #LGBTQ #loveyourself #parentrejection #gay #selfidentity #reconciliation #unconditionallove